Carls Jr!

Heyyy:) today's been a rather boring day? Was supposed to go out but changed date! Teehee. So, went to granny's place instead. It was really fun there, laughter and all filled the house! Oh, and surprisingly I didn't fall asleep though I was mad tired x: Anyway tried the flinstone's funny rings cereal with chocolate malt milk! It goes pretty good together, hehehe. My love for cereals is back, lol. Bought Puffins too also a nice cereal. Headed out for lunch with parents at Changi City Point before going to gran's place. Second time there! Didn't really shop around, just went to have lunch and left. Honestly, things have been rather difficult since last night. No idea why, but Ed just seems to be stronger. Its like I can feel it getting stronger. Sort of. Had a really hard time deciding on lunch, and didn't want to eat at first. Just wanted to get a cup of Yami yogurt as a substitute for lunch.. Obviously Mom was against it, so I looked through every menu on at the different stalls. Was so tempted to get fishball tang hoon(which is obviously ed cause I hate fishballs) but luckily I didn't! After talking to Mom for a moment, I walked once more and got a meal from the Korean Stall instead. Was feeling somewhat guilty, but what's eaten is already being digested, so no point thinking about it. And talking about yesterday, things were rather good except dinner. Like today, I kind of felt guilty. After dinner. Ordered Sambal Seafood fried rice for the second time. Was a challenge! The first time I ordered that, I did not finish it though I wasn't really satisfied. The fear made me stop eating. Yesterday's challenge went ok as in I finished the whole portion, but it was the after effect that sucks. I felt so so guilty I didn't have the mood to do anything. And yes, Ed thoughts sank in, saying stuffs like why did I eat this instead of that etc. Omg it really created hell in my mind): I had a black face LOL. Mom's mood was kinda ruined too, because of my attitude and stuff. Oh, we were at ntuc back then. And was actually getting stuffs to cook for next week's meals. Ok,but thank God really. For my Mom. I got my own self back and pushed Ed thoughts away, remembering what the social worker said to me "Recovery means challenging yourself" and what the psychologist said as well "You have to get up from your comfort zone". Those really encouraged me to not think about Ed and all the guilt involved! And yay managed to get supper later that night. Oh, and about the title... I tried Carls Jr on Thursday night, dinner!! So happy. Really a huge challenge. But I felt really good after eating that! And a lil sleepy:( It was awesome, yummmmmmzzzz. First time in my life that I tried that! Ordered Beef Thickburger- Portobello Mushroom Burger SET. Everything single stuff was being digested! HAHAHA. Yay I'm really happy:) Anyway, I guess I'd have to stop eating froyo for a while. After having one cup today, my stomach felt really bloated. Don't know what's wrong! :( Ugh. Church tomorrow, will be meeting Grish after that! Gonna go to 112 Katong and maybe Parkway. Feel like getting a job at Berrylite! Ok but it might not seem like a good idea now cause it'll be tough to not have them while working with them. Hahhha.