Happy Birthday Singapore!

Yes Happy Birthday Singapore! And thank God for this lil red dot! :) Heehee. What I love best about this... It's a PUBLIC HOLIDAY. Been so tired lately, don't seem to have enough sleep at all. School's still as stressful, in fact more stressful as the exams are getting nearer. Seems like the workload is never ending and I dont know if i'd be able to finish studying everything on time. But I know God's grace is enough:) Anyway, I've met up with a few people! Went out with Sophia on Saturday for lunch @ Fish&Co @ Airport and we studied. Hehe oh and guess what? I saw Gulshan! Its been years since I saw him. He's working at Starbucks and its amazing how we've all grown to be more mature and moving on in life:) HEH. And yes, lunch that day was kinda... A challenge yet what I wanted. I chose to go to Fish&Co for the Fish and Chips! But when I looked through the menu, the thought came. "To order the safest" Well, and yes. It's tempting, isn't it? At least it was to me.(some incident happened before at F&C)but bleah, I went ahead with F&C. But then, another challenge popped up. I ordered NewYork's F&C but it was not available... So what? I could get something safe! But nah, I mean I did contemplate that but it won't help in recovery its just giving in to the voice again so I went ahead with the Danish's F&C instead! Not bad thou. :) And Sophia was great too! She didn't get a salad and that's amazing. It was super good, an accomplishment:) heehee. Well and yeah we went to study and talked a lot! It was really nice to catchup with her and we're gonna have food exploration trips! Had a dinner date with daddy too! @PizzaHut. He suggested that, so why not? :D And yes, that's the greatest accomplishment of the day. That made me feel really normal. I've not had pizza for a really really long time. Because of Ed. And that night, I conquered it. Without any issues or guilt. Oh with an additioal side of Drumlets. It was great, everything was great. Dad was happy too, so was I. And we shared the joy to mom! YAY everyone was happy. Its so opposite. Life changed so much. During the period of having Ed so strong in me, everyone wasn't happy. But now, because Ed has been disappearing and the real me is surfacing again, everyone is so happy. Including me. I mean YES. I can see that, how happy and joyful I am as compared to before. How the support and love I got kept me going and how God changed me and mould me. Things will definitely get better, ultimately. Anyway, met up with SL today! To.... study and have lunch. Lunched @ THE SHIP. I miss her!It was a great lunch:) and it was so funny, i was going on about "Ah hui,......" and she kinda puked out her water. HAHAHA. And lunch was really filling! Cause we had the set meal so it came with tea/coffee, soup of the day, dessert of the day. Afterwhich, we freeloaded @ Starbucks! Muhaha. Felt kinda weird cause I'd usually get a drink or smth but i dont think its necessary at starbucks:) So long as its not crowded its fine. Otherwise, just have to give up the seat and hunt for another place. And met up with Sherry toooo!! With SL. So yay they know each other now! Spoke to sherry for quite long till someone from her shop called, thinking that she dropped into the toilet bowl LOL. I miss her, so much. And it bought back so many memories! :) just miss it all so much. :) Guess where's our next studying place? WENDY'S. My first time there... K, i know I'm slow but whatever. Tried the M&M's twisted frosty! It wasn't that good:( I thought it'd be nicer. Bleah. Oh and as we were studying, there was this couple... PDA-ing. WTH seriously. It was gross and funny. We were pretty much laughing at them. Haha, what a good entertainment. Its now 11.07pm... And I've school till 5pm tomorrow, with a 4hours break inbetween. Gonna play badminton with the clique and YAY SL's coming over to TP! Wheeee:) &I finally went to Little PANCAKES YAY!.... photos time!
BBQ chicken supreme stuffed crust pizza

Drumlets

Fan of Big Breakfast

Peanut Butter Time

Something Blue

Fancy Delight Eggtarts

Cream Of Mushroom

SL's Main Course

Salmon

Walnut cake And coffeeeee

Friends!

Lastly, I love my friends too. Ofcourse God and my family first. Teehee. Caught up with Cherelle today @ TP! Well cause we're both in tp LOL. We used to be in the same class, till I deferred hmph. I was going on about how much I regretted it and blah blah. Also I find it so amazing that even though I did not spend a super duper long period of time with them, I feel close to them. :) They're nice people. Hehe. So amazing! But I love my current girlfriends in school too muhahaha they are so good and I love the chats we have :D So fun! :) Its good to know seniors too. (Y) ok, thats school. Haha oh and as I was saying... I caught up with Cherelle today and we talked for quite long! Standing at some awkward place hmm... And my friends went to Bistro Walk to have their lunch first. But then, they started calling me, whatsapping me but with no response. Ops. And they came up to find me, even though they were half way through lunch-ing, worried that I've fainted or smth. It made me feel cared for thou it sounded silly♥ Teehee. And ofcourse I still love my other friends muhahaha especially my dear SLMacHoney. Haha, you know who you are! :3 k, this is becoming some confession post. Bleah. Anyway, a pic of Cherelle and I to end this!♥

Recovery.

Hi everyone! Sorry for the lack of posts. Heh been packed with school school and more school work its draining me mentally and physically.. And sem tests coming up in approx 3weeks time! From the 24th August till 30th August. Just can't wait for the 7weeks holidays! Havent planned much yet, but I'd rather have holidays then school. Well, who doesn't? :) Besides school, went to watch Dark Knight Rises with Yuli the other Saturday and we had brunch @ BFF! Got the BFF special too and it was good. I'm in love with pancakes! Gonna try out little pancakes soon. Hehe. It looks so cute and yummmmy especially the sweet one, for sweet tooth like me:) Watched Total Recall with Parents last night too, its not bad. Action movie. Thriller, suspense. Interesting tho. Expect the unexpected. And YAY A PIECE OF GOOD NEWS! Went to SGH yesterday to see Dr NG, and I'm so happy. Really deep down happy. She said I'm progressing so good, she's reducing my appointments and seeing me in TWO MONTHS time! Its actually my first time having a two month break in between appointments and it feels so so good. Dr's appointment:) I can't say how glad I am to know how happy she was for me and how much I've gone through to overcome this. To have this huge progress. Glory to God, heh. It's been a rocky journey, YES its been tough YES, I wanted to just end my life many times, YES I wanted to give up a billion times YES. But I still believe that everything happens for a reason. Do you? It helped me a lot actually with the support that I have. Its amazing . Hehe. I'm just so happy! Life is indeed better without Ed, true enough. I'm not saying that even though I've made so much progress, I'm totally well or whatever, no. I still have downdays but its way better. And it'll be better for you too. Be strong and stay strong. :) Talk to me if you want :3 ng_weilin94@hotmail.com :D I guess this just really motivates me even further to help others who are also struggling with the same issue. Anyway, I saw Tina on Monday too! And for the Thought diary that we've been working on, I'm progressing up to the next stage too. There's 5 stages in total. A-B-C-D-E. Now learning how to dispute the thoughts. Evidence and against it. Reminded me of Forensics. Evidence LOL. And I'm going out tomorrow to study with S too! YAY haven't seen her for quite some time already, having lunch tgt @ Airport too. :') As much as I dread studying, I have to. That's the quite sad part. HAHA okay toodles! Have a good night xxx

Strictly Pancakes!

Today was ... -no idea what word to describe- but the day ended off good with a visit to strictly pancakes with two of my fav girls!But before that, let's talk about today. Was so tired! For no particular reason? Slept early last night, but i think its because the waking up @ 3am and falling asleep @ 4ish am made it impossible to wake up @ 7ish to go to Life for appointment @ 9am. I totally have no idea why did I arrange for my appointment to be at 9am, when on Thurs, school starts @ 10am! Crazy right? Could've slept for a hour longer, but nah its the other way round. I'd say appointment didn't go too well. Got nagged at by Michelle. Even so, she did talk sense and made me think. And ugh, miss seeing June... She's easier to talk to and I think she understands my struggles better. After that, rushed off to sch for 10am's lec. Mom drove and was talking about the speed limit issue which was kinda funny as we started looking at the speed limit arrow to make sure she doesn't exceed it. HAHAHA. which was, kinda hard to achieve. I mean, who can control it at all times? Hmm. And surprisingly, I wasn't late for lecture! hehe which was good, i don't like to be late:) but lec's boring and boring cause its all about pipc, the subject that I've completely no interest in. Sigh. This is bad, i know as sem test's just in a month's time! :O bleaaah. I like bmlc tho, even tho its hard. Hmmm. And break followed by a debrief which i totally forgotten to bring my notes so sat there playing w my phone and a three hours lab! Are labs supposed to be fun? Mmmm. Yay, what's next? Strictly Pancakes! Was actually deciding between SP and BFF but we decided to go to SP instead. Was a long journey there, and when we arrived... It was PACKED. Had to fill in your names on a waiting list cause it was fullhouse! Wasn't really expecting it to be so crowded! Haha, afterall, first time! Heh. But it was definitely worth the wait. :D the pancakes were good! And filling as well. Y, XT and I got the sweet one. Heh, and the looks of it was already... "YUM". And I saw Nutella MilkShake! So yes, I ordered that too. Yum. so good. Look at the pictures! :D Dinner was the best part of today. Laughed and talked about everything it was fun, love spending time w them. And the rest:) okay, till then xxxxx nights all!

Bananas-Scotched

Tiramisu

Strawberries &Co.

Batter Fluffy Flaps!

Hey yo! Havent been blogging for a month and ohmama time flies! I always thought time pass by really slowly, but looking at my last post, i can't believe its been a month already. Hahaha. Many things happened during this one month and yeah both good and bad. Hmm. But leave that aside, look on the bright side. I'll only post about the recent ones since I can only remember those! LOL. So Friday, school. From 9-930, Organic Chemistry paper followed by a 4hours break before CSAS meeting. Went to have MacD's with clique! And after that, Adam left first for his csas meeting while the four of us continued sitting there as though no one wanted the table and starting talking. For hours. It was amazing, how much we shared. (: Heh. And suddenly, it was time for csas already. seriously?! Yes, seriously. That fast. When you're engrossed into something, time's never enough. Oh and we celebrated Yuli's advanced bday on Friday too! It was hilarious. Py, Xt and I stayed in the toilet cubicle for say half hour while yuli and adam sat at the bench waiting for us. Heh. Its crazy, how three girls squeeze into a cubicle to write birthday wishes and laughing as though we owned the toilet. Laughs. And when we came out from the cubicle, this girl looked at us with those kind of look. Yeah, those eyes. "Errr, wth?" But surprise surprise! For the BIRTHDAY girl, with her minnie mouse which Xt and Py went to get it and the card. And we headed to Ajisen for our late lunch. It was the best lunch of the week! With lots of fun and laughter. Laughed till my stomach hurt so badly! Pretty sure I'd have abs hanging out with them. Heh. And yes, got a cake as well, and it was good. Everything was good! Loved all the times we had! <3

Saturday, didn't do much other than sleeping in so it was just a lazy saturday. Mhmm. Well, the only fruitful thing I did was going out for dinner with my dad and helping my mom w the Eclairs! Yum. Love my mom, she's the best^^ Best gift. My parents and my family :3 So, dad and I went to i12 Katong for Dinner, at Cafe and Bistro? I think that's what its called. The menu's like cafe cartel. Dad got the St. Louis Ribs! Didn't get that in the end as I wasn't craving something meaty. Heh. Shared some issues with dad and he gave some advices too. Guess what? Although I was full from mains, there's always room for desserts so we shared brownies! Double stacked. Heavenly. Went to fetch mom from cell group after that and headed home, so yeah. It was, a lazy saturday!

Today was kinda okay thou! Met up with SL! My Mchoney. Hahaha, yes love her<3 we... went to Batter Fluffy Flaps! BFF. @ 89 East Coast Road. Opposite i12 Katong:) Nicole works there too! But she wasn't working today. gah. Tried the cheesecake something one and it was so good. Sl had the kebab one! Her's savoury while mine's sweet. Sweet tooth me:) The pancake's really dense, unlike Cedele's. Both's goood tho. And we came to a conclusion: Better than MacD's. Well, I guess its partly because of the toppings as well, giving the pancakes more flavours whereas MacD's one's original:) I like MacD's breakkie tho. okay so we also ketchup! Without chilli, LOL. And walked around that area. Has many good food! Like awfully chocolate, Moshi Bakes, Robolots, My cupcakes etc. Lucky her she stays nearby. I love talking to her, she's just, so... ____. Idk what to say. Good. Hahaha. Can't believe how our friendship managed to last:) TQGOD. k, carried on walking to i12 and went to the Arcade. Played the bball one and omg it was super extremely tiring. Energy draining. Highest score was 358 i think. Ours wasn't that bad, 33! HAHAHA. (Y) regardless, we had fun! Got macaroons for family too, well cause my dear sister wanted it so I went to get it. Got to try it too! From OBOLO. Nice:) But why are macaroons so expensive? Hmmm. Headed to PP after to meetup with parents before rushing home to refrigerate the precious macaroons, heh. Anyway, kinda tired but can't sleep now. Just had MacD not long ago and have yet to do PIPC pre-lab. Oh, how I hate labs, especially pipc. Sigh.

Anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIC! HOPE YOU'VE HAD AN AWESOME DAY U BEAUTIFUL GIRL. YOU'RE WORTH SO SO SO MUCH MORE THAN THE LIES ED HAS BEEN FEEDING YOU WITH AND YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE IN LIFE. LOVE YOU TO BITS<3 I'll visit you soon @BFF!

Photos:

soup of the day
pan fried macaroni
virgin mango margarita
st. louis ribs
Brownie
TODAYS~

Macarons!

Goodddday:)

Hi! So went out with my 2 dearies today D&XT! To... Orchard area. But we only visited 313, Ion and cine:) Today is a good day. heh. Met them for lunch at 313 and as usual, we have problems deciding on what to eat! So after eliminating a few choices out, we ended up with Old Malaya Cafe by playing scissors paper stone and... Hmmm. Upon arriving there and looking at the menu, it wasn't appealing and all of us would actually order Pontian Wanton Noodle only. Heh. So guess what?! We decided to walk around and yes ended up at a much nicer place, Hot Tomato! It was kinda crowded, which might mean that the food's good? And In we went! :D Ordered and stuff and indeed the meal was good and filling. Worth it too. But still, yesterday's Antoinette was better obviously! Hahaha. Went to F21 to shop around before having some ice cream! Oh and today is totally like an eating spree. We spent most of our money on food, not shopping. Ooopsie! Wanted to have Cold Rock (the other D&I ate and it was super good) but sadly, the display machine was not functioning and only 6 flavours were available. Ah quite sad, but what to do? :O Wanted B&J as our next option but dk where's it so we had Ice cream @ Maggie Moo's(?) in the end! The colours look kinda weird but the ice cream is actually pretty good! YUMMMMZ totally love it. HEEH. And we walked and walked to cine. Whats next? Had Artease's Grape Vinegar Tea! Smoothing for the throat, but v sour. Strong vinegar taste. If you like vinegar, go for it. If not, don't bother trying! Oh, and we watched how Sticky was made too! As lag as I am, this is my first time seeing them making sticky. And it was so so cool. Yet tiring. The man was perspiring, cos the whole thing of the sweet was so heavy. But it was really cool looking at it too! :) And we did manicure too! At FEP. Service... not so good. Hmmm. Ohwell they were quite inpatient especially one of them, so yeah. Not very good): Boooo. After which, walked back to Ion Orchard to have dinner. Finally settled down @ Fish&Co.! Yeaps haven't had that in a really long time, cus of Ed. So decided to go for what I wanted, the Fish&Chips! Got the Danish one and it was so good, along with a drink. Forgotten what's it called but its so good. Like some clubbing drink LOL. All's cool. Shopping and eating, that's called living. Haaahaaa, today's just awesome. What more can I ask for? Life is good, really good when I'm free. From Ed. Not completely, still have all those thoughts but way better. :D From where I first started. And today's my Awesome Bestieeee Birthday! :D And she looks so so pretty. :D Hope everyone has a good day too!

Antoinette!

Went out to celebrate SL's bday today. Advance bday celebration, just the both of us. HAHAHA so romantic huh. lol. And we went to Antoinette for lunch! Planned to bring her there and yay. Success. Though she's been there before, but that was when she was "sick" so yeah, its different if you get what I mean xD. Service there's pretty good, and I like the chairs. Its so comfy. Super comfy! :D like woah atas. But its v small cos its at Mandarin Gallery. The main outlet's @ Penhas Road and its much bigger. From... the reviews. LOL. And the foods' good! Especially the dessert. Ordered blinis which is just pancakes whereas she had Egg Gratin, which is like... pizza just without the crust. Both's good. Now, dessert! Got a brittany macaroon-thats what its called. Its sweet, but not to the extent of too sweet till you'll get sick of it. Just nice I'd say. And we each ordered our own dessert though its both the same HAHAHA. -Antoinette. Its so good! The new delicious. It has this bubble thats filled with raspberry sauce, and its actually quite stretchy! I tried poking it after and it wasn't v easily poked. BOO. But the first taste... It melts in my mouth. That was how good it was:D love the center the most, as it has some crunchy stuff inside! YUM. costs $9. :D Heh. Okay you should try it. Worth the calories. Promise:) then accompained her for... another idk how long before Mom came over to Orchard Central to meet up with me! Walked around randomly with mom and got cold stone too. And I prefer cold rock @ 313. It tastes... Better. But BR's still the best of the best. Then decided to watch movie as there wasn't much to walk and see, especially with the super crazy scorching hot weather. Called dad, and we headed down to Plaza Sing to watch a movie, Prometheus. Its nice, and at some parts of the movie, I got so tensed up! Haha, but I like it. Its really an interesting movie! :D still gonna watch MIB3 thou, has 5/5 ratings! So it must be good, right? HAHAHA. okay bye good night! :D

Holidaaays!

Okay haven't been blogging for a very very long time! Been really busy with school, all the work and omg. So stressful. But yay! Holidays are here, since 10am today, after the last exam. :D finally. Been sleeping at 2ish am for the whole week due to exams, tons to study and memorise... And yesssa! It's all OVER. YAY. The papers were... mostly tough. And tricky. Gah. Science course, is really very hard. All the memory work, I probably need pill that helps expand memory space. Oh, anyway, had an impromptu meet up with Sulynn today! Hahahaha. So funny, I just woke up then when she called me, and I decided to head down to Takashimaya to meet her. Heh. Been having fun with her these few days! Like at my house too. HEHE. :D I love spending time with her, she makes me happy. Like, a boyfriend material. Oh too bad, she's a girl. Sucha pity. After meeting up @ Taka, we walked around basement to find food! Wasn't really hungry so didn't feel like eating. Yet I know I have to, but I didn't want to. But when she's there, HAHA no Ed. :D got stuffs and her coffee, was good. So good that she didn't want her coffee to finish. Then, we did something embarrassing and fun. Went to Pique Nique, wanted to try the all day breakfast. But as we walked in, I was eating a mini durian crepe and she was drinking her coffee... the waitress did not comment on anything such as "no outside food and drinks etc". Just as we choose a nice table and sat, this Indian lady, probably the manager or something came over and said "NO outside food... blahblah and IS THAT DURIAN? NO DURIAN ALLOWED I DON WANT THE CUSTOMERS TO COMPLAIN". LOL. why can't she be more polite, for goodness sake. And after a while, just a short while, she came over again. Asking if she could take our orders. And still, looking fierce. -.-" its really bad service there. So, when she walked into the kitchen, we just grabbed our stuffs and ran out. ZOMG. It was fun, doing this silly acts. Missed those times when I used to do them too! hahahahahs. And tada, we ended up @ Cedele, and their service was much much better:D OMG there's actually so much to say. but enough about that. Oh, we then walked to Orchard Central and I met Yuli! Bought 2 dresses as well, with discount. The girl was so kind to give me extra discount. And they have a blogshop too!! :) really nice dresses. I'll post the dresses that I bought:)And next wed, I'll be meeting sulynn again. To celebrate her birthday. She already knows its to celebrate her birthday, but what she doesn't know is the program. HOHOHO. And I've yet to plan it. Not sure what to do either. So, I'll go and brainstorm in the meantime. So excited, I can't wait. Oh, and about appointments! Saw june on Wed, and it went well. Sort of. She's leaving SGH soon and that's quite sad cos I like seeing her. Overall she's the one whom I saw when I was anti recovery and when I was pro recovery. She helped me so so much! :D A newbie sat in too, and there seems to be more and more newbies. ): does this means the oldies are leaving? ): ohdear, hope not. Ahhhh I've to find stuffs to do during this 2weeks of holidays. Okay toodles!

WEILIN IS LALALALA

Hello!
I am... WEILIN'S FRIEND (she says I am a pig and my name is 'Ghost')
I am... sad.

Because she doesn't love me waaaah!

Okay hello everybody reading this, I'm going through what my dear friend Weilin has gone through too and we'll all just be fighters and KEEP ADDING OIL! Yes oil is good for you. Plus oil is tasty, I mean, aglio oglio pasta is just the best. It has C=C (double bonds! )

Weilin is studying now, she is really really smart.
Yeah, but seriously, I do believe it's possible to live ED free BECAUSE ANY VOICE THAT TELLS YOU 'NO YOU CAN'T'is one that is stupid. Why? Because you can't say 'I can't' before you even try. And giving a shot at life is not just eating one meal, it is when you eat to live and appreciate your body for what it can do.
So to those out there reading this and hesitating about recovery or worrying about weight, CLEAR YOUR MIND.
Do the right thing and i guarantee, you will find peace.
God bless all of you.

AND WEILIN IS DOING MY HOMEWORK FOR ME MUAHAHAHA, LOVE THIS GIRL!
She has an exam tomorrow so pray for her:D
And i'll pray for all of you, I pray for all of you whom I don't know every week just so you know, and I pray no one else has to go through this.

day 3!

Create a Mascot~

-mine's in a animal form! :)
Eagle.
Well, cause even though eagles look fierce and daring and intimidating on the outside, but its not really as it seems. It has it struggles too! I don't exactly remember everything, just a vague idea but it does apply to my daily life and motivation. (if i remember xD) After a couple of years, the eagle have to make a choice which is really really crucial. For its survival. It can choose to undergo 40days(i think) of pain, lonliness and all and knock out its own beak which is going to be so so so painful and wait for it to grow or it can choose to not go through the painful process and as the beak grows day by day, the life of the eagle will get shorter and shorter. Ofcourse, some may choose to undergo the painful process and some may not. But what I'm trying to get at for recovery is that it is going to be a long tedious painful upsetting process. You know it, I know it, We all know it! But we do know that as we let go for Ed slowly, and endure the pain in the meantime, one day, we will be free from the bondages of the Eating Disorder and eventually be freee, becoming who we really are. The true identity of ourselves instead of being an "unknown", who's all lost. So, your choice is important it has an impact on your life<3 hang in there!

PS idk if it makes any sense, this day3 challenge is not an easy one :P

#day 2

Top Ten reasons to Fight for/Stay Recovered.

1. Parents- their never ending love and effort trying their utmost best to help me to recover, always being there esp my mom to support me in all ways that I need made me see that I'm more important and loved and that I do not deserve a life with Ed.
2. Be free- No longer want to be tied down by the bondages of Ed, obeying its "rules" and being controlled..
3. Self acceptance- One day to be able to accept myself for who I am, appreciate myself which includes my flaws and have a healthy self esteem and that can only happen without Ed (cause its the one telling me all the negatives stuffs)
4. Normal Eater- To be able to eat freely, whatever I want without restricting, without counting calories without feeling horribly guilty and dwelling on it. Oh, and eating desserts, drinking starbucks as and when I want:D
5. Help other sufferers- Got to be fully recovered first before I can really help others right?:D
6. Exercise!- This is normal.. But what I'm trying to get at is about not being obsessed about exercising excessively, but exercising because I waant to and have the time to do so. In other words, enjoying my exercise instead of being "forced".
7. Be Healthy- Want to be able to live a life free from the hospital. Hahaha. And having organs which are functioning properly to keep me alive and healthy so I can do lots of stuffs!!!
8. School- Attend school! Yes, school. Without having to skip school or being on long MCs to be warded in hospital because of Ed.
9. God!!!:D- I want to be a living testimony to show God's works in my life. How amazing he is:D How perfect and wonderful awesome he is oh how much I love him. Everything's to His Glory:D
10.... MYFUTURE:D This's very berry important don't ya think so? Ahhas. Yeah, I wanna study in an overseas university, perferably NYC (no idea why just like it) and have work in the forensics department! To reach there, I need food to fuel my body and give me the energy to write and study. Boohoo. END.
:D

THOSE ARE REASONS. K.

QUOTE!
"Don't worry about hard times because some of the most beautiful things we have in life come from changes and mistakes"

HFC challenge:)

Hey so someone commented and suggested that I should try out this 31 day challenge, for the whole of may and I think it sounds good so here I am! Gonna start:) Also I think its good cause I must then update daily... Well yes. Its only for MAY. Today's the 2nd, so I'll actually start with day 1 and day 2. :)

Day 1: I write about eating disorders because...
Personally for me, I do blog about Ed because I am recovering from Anorexia and I know how hard the process is.. How tedious and tiring it can get and how strong the urges are to slip back to how I was when I was sick to be "thin". Like and I hope it'd actually help people who have Ed too! To let them know that support and help is always available, recovery will be possible. And it makes me happy sort of, to share my thoughts, struggles, victories with anyone and everyone. Just wanna let you guys know that you aren't alone, never. Hope my blog actually helps:)

Just a little more.

Happy Labour Day! Today's a public holiday yay. But also, going out on a public holiday is kinda not so good cause yeah, it tends to be overly crowded, you'd probably just see heads instead of the goods. LOL. So, nothing's planned for me sadly! And I'm still sick its been a few days and I really hate it, I can't have a peaceful sleep because of my flu... Wasted idk how many boxes of tissue papers already hahahas. Hope I get well soooon. Wednesday, tomorrow, school's gonna end @ 5, and I totally would not want a super irritating nose accompanying me throughout lectures and tutorials. :( And that also means I've to go back to school after appointment @ 12pm. And guess what? This is only week 2 of school, and the work is pretty much rather hard to understand, with all the long unheard chemistry words.. That has to be memorized. OMG. Week 2. How about the upcoming weeks? I wonder. Definitely, TOUGHER. I'm gonna be a good girl today, stay home with my books paper pens pencil = STUDY. :D Haven't actually done that for quite some time! Not that motivated bleah but I'll still do it. :D Yay GOGOGO. Oh, and yesterday, lunch was good! I'm glad. We ended school early, 45mins earlier heh. So had lunch outside with my clique. Headed down to Nex and dined @ Ramen Play. Honestly, it posed as a lil challenge with the mass amounts of options before me and the temptation to refuse/not finish it. But I managed to do so, and it felt really awesome. How good is that?:) A sense of satisfaction<3 OHOHOH. I watched mean girls 2 last night with Mom, kinda bimbotic but I guess all shows have moral values? They all teach something out of it. Probably you can go watch it if you haven't. It actually shows how easily influenced people can get, and do things against their conscience to achieve what they want. And how people can change. How conformed they are by society, by the rich and popular. Anyway, I'll just end here!

Quote!
"Never say goodbye if you still want to try.
Never give up if you still feel you can go on"<3

Just a summary:)

Hey peeps. Haven't blogged for quite some time already, been feeling pretty lazy and busy. Heh. So just a summary...
School started last monday! Honestly, when I first went to school, I felt really alone I just want to cry and stuff. Cause everyone went for orientation week 0 except for me. But in times like this, that's when I see the glory of God, how amazing he is. Let's just say that from Day 2, I've a group of friends already. That's amazing right? And they are a group of really awesome people! Which I really really thank God for. :) Hopefully as time pass by, we'll get to know each other betterxxx And for the first week, been packed with school and appointment! Well 3 appointments in one week and since there's no tutorials and lab work on week 1, been having lunch out w Mom before appointments. Like everything's all just in time that sort of stuff. Just on appointment days. Didn't go to school on Friday tho, went home after I saw Tina. Sickkkk. Overnight. No freaking idea what happened, it was like an all of a sudden thing, so yeah. :( Pretty sad.. And today's sunday, now I'm @ home and honestly, it feels really weird and especially very very boring to be home on Sundays. :( Time is like not moving at all:( I wonder when will the day actually end... And then there's school tomorrow, starting off with 3 hours of Organic Chemistry Lab followed by lectures till 3pm. And yay end school! Whooo. Hahaha. Lab workkkk! Been a year since I did lab work, oh and that reminds me to do the elab thing beforehand:) Heee. And yay, I'm happy cause I made another new friend. Hahaa, she's also battling Anorexia. Freaking Ana. Yes I've never actually seen her before, just text and fb and stuff and she seem like a really nice girl:) I'm sure she is anyway. No one is bad by nature:) Besides school, life's not really good. I've been struggling honestly yes yes yes. S-T-R-U-G-G-L-I-N-G. *pronounce it* Meals been much of a disater, restricting, followed by bingeing. Not big in quantity but still, its not normal? Like Idk how to explain its just messed up eating. Only thursay I really ended up bingeing? Yes, that was a binge. To me it is:( With all the guilt and urges to get the food out, it was really hard. I didn't vomit it out, but I just hate it I hate that I have such messed up eating. I hate it that I can't actually eat normally like a noraml person wihout restricting or overeating. I hate having all this weird eating... It seriously makes me feel so shitty lousy. Bleah. I'd really want to get rid of it, who wouldn't? I want to be normal, yet it seems so far. It sounds so easy but reaching that stage is yet another issue that's so hard. So ohmygoodnessssss. Ugh. But still, I believe that its possible and achievable:) So the past few down days are not gonna pull me down I'm back on my feet again. Yay I'll make this work. :D Yay Yay Yay ok it'll succeed one day!! Self assurance, w'ev you think of it as. :) Thank God there's mom with me to make sure that I do eat as well, which really helps a lot too:) But still, I want to be responsible for my own eating. Especially in school. It'll definitely pose as a challenge, but i'll still try. :D Oh and yes! I signed up for skating which is roller blading! Hahaha, it sounds really fun. Pretty interested in it, so yeah, starts on Friday and whooo can't wait to check it out:) And a quote again!
"Surround yourself with positive people who will guide you through your darkest clouds and help you to reach the stars" :)

One day, one day.

I'll wait and stay strong till the day I'm free.
Free from the Eating Disorder.
Free from Calorie counting.
Free from "forced" exercising.
Free from Doctors.

Everything.

One day.

The pain and struggles I'm facing will be worth it,
It'll mold me into a stronger person

Dinner was not good!

Not in the best of mood now, yeah. Cause dinner was not good. Ed attack. And yes, I gave it. Not totally, but still, I did gave in. Even the slightest would be considered, right? Had dinner @ Magic Wok with parents and grandma! And yet... It wasn't bad but just wasn't good:( Anyway, had therapy today! On self-esteem. How to work towards a positive self esteem, the middle ground. :) For most Ed patients, I suppose our self esteem tend to be at the self-defeating shame? For me, it is. And for some egoistic ones, they tend to have self-defeating pride. Both are unhealthy! Self esteem should be healthy, appreciative etc. Not on either ends. So I'll work towards that! It'd be good to feel comfortable with myself, in all aspects. :) Don't you think so? Oh. And although dinner wasn't good, there's still something good everyday! I had MacD's Sausage& Egg McGriddles SET for breakfast! I wanted it, muahaha. As it was a set, it included hashbrown and a drink. For me, Iced Milo! It was a filling and satisfying breakfast. GREAT. I'd be better if I had maple syrup to go along with the hashbrown! Something I like about hotcakes, it has maple syrup. That makes me happy:) Going back to dinner. No, going back to "giving in" to Ed. I was quite pissed @ myself after that, and pretty much regretted cause I think I made my parents start thinking... About Ed and slipping and "what's gonna happen when school starts" etc. Which I really hate it I hate worrying them about Ed issues. It makes them upset too. Which ugh makes me mad. Not mad, just at a loss. But came up with something! Mom said she's gonna cook dinner everyday. Weekdays! It'd be good, at least there's a decent meal that I would have for sure. Without any Ed inference. I can't imagine being left on my own to settle all of my meals now. It's really not gonna work when I haven't really tried. So yeah. Will try. :) Definitely, I have to be responsible for my meals and my body toooo. So yeap. School's on MONDAY. Time is passing by so quickly now. OMG WHYYYYY. ): but yay saturday tomorrow! As I said, going Cedele for Brunch. And guess what? I'm gonna cook my own dinner tomorrow! Watch out for pictures which will leave you drooling heeheehee. Provided if its a success!- You know I suck @ cooking sadly. But @ least I can bake! :D

To end this, QUOTE TIME!
"You can never quit.
Winners never quit,
and quitters never win"

New look!

How's the new blogskin? Hahaha it actually took me hours to do it, which was extremely time consuming. But I like it :P Hahaha, I chose tons of blogskin and copy paste but ended up changing and changing. Imagine that-.- Seriously. Ohwell @ least its all done. Now, school. SCHOOL. I can't log in to the student portal. Not even now and school's starting on Monday. Ugh even the asa people couldn't help... Well, deferement case really that complicated? Anyway, went to the wet market with Mom today morning! She was gonna prepare lunch and dinner since sist's friend was coming over. It was like some fashion show just now. Lol. Ahhh love home cooked food, it makes me happy and I feel good eating that. But the Ed is also definitely stronger when Mom cookes. Pretty much like that for me. But it was good. And you know what? I love onions. stirfried ones. LOVE. Mad good!:D Didn't do much today also. Was just glued to my laptop since morning till dinner, and now. Hahaha. Which is not a really good way to spend the day. Yes it's not. Oh, tomorrow's friday! That means appointment with Tina. Yaaaaayyy. :D I always look forward to it, just that tomorrow's therapy I wonder how will it turn out. Perhaps I'll get emotional or something. Looking forward to it and I'll talk about that tomorrow! And then there's physio after. Wow haven't really stretched my muscles for quite some time, so I am absolutely looking forward to that. My Friday routine is pretty much the same, appointments and either out or home. Tomorrow would be- Home:) And I can't wait for saturday I'm going to GreenWich to meet LJ for brunch/lunch @ Cedele! Whooosoundssogoooodheavens! Haven't met up with her for 3 weeks already I think. Or 2? So yay I'll see her on Saturday. No concrete plans after that so anyone wanna go out? Hahaha tell me ok!

And to end this, a beautiful quote!!
"You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be happy anyplace"

Random dinner!

Good evening! Had appointment with the dietitian today, and phew it was good. Well, yes it was. She saw my food diary after so long say three weeks hahaha and at least I was having regular meals which was good. Just have to work further on my meals choices that I eat most of the time cause some its dominated by Ed. Well and I'm glad to say dinner I had what I actually wanted. And yay made another improvement in 3weeks! By completing tasks that I was supposed to:) *pats on shoulder* calorie counting has also decreased! Whooo. Thank God. I mean, there still is, but I'll work towards that. Breakfast was great, mom prepared it, and it was good. Hahahaha bananas! :P Yum. And guess what? I saw the dietitian for an hour... That's super long, I know but it didn't felt like it was that long. Honestly, I like seeing the dietitian cause she assures me and tells sense and all to me which makes sense since they're qualified. So it pretty much makes Ed feel really stupid and she helps in assuring me that whatever Ed said were just lies. Headed to Bedok Interchange after that to get lunch before going to Gran's place. The food there... Not really interesting so nothing caught my eye. So, ended up with the most typical meal- rice and dishes. Not cheap ok! And got Selegie's Red Bean Soy Milk Cold. So good I like Red bean but I love Soy Milk. LOL. Exceptionally yummy since it was a super ultra hot day. :D And went to meet SL after that! Not straight after la, lol. Mom drove me to serangoon well cause I slept and woke up late, so yeah. Thanks Mom<3 We walked to Upper Thomson Road and she was introducing the food centres to me here and there. Hahahaha but seems like the 2 good food stalls already closed shop, sadly. One was "Chocolat &Spice"! Heard about it from Jo before but never get to try it:( Hahaha walked around before we finally on an impromptu dinner consisting of a bakery bun from Yijia Bakery and IceCream On Waffle from Salted Caramel. :D It was good! Hahahaha. Sweeeeet dinner. The waffle and icecream was reaaally sweet cause of the maple syrup but still it was awesome. I'll upload the pictures taken today and the lunch @ Jack's Place and dinner @ Siam Kitchen! Sorry for the delay xxxxx

Lunch @ Jack's Place with Mum:)

Grilled fish with watercress sauce

Grilled chicken

Dinner @ Siam Kitchen with Dad:)

French Bean!

Tom Yum Seafood Soup!

(really thick taste)

Fried Thai Fish Cake- A must try!

Today's Dinner!

@ Salted Caramel!

SL & I! @ YIJIAAAAA:)

My Horlicks Tim Tam Ice cream on Waffle+maple syrup!

SL's Peanut Butter Ice Cream On Waffle+maple syrup!

Raisin Cheese Bakery Bun

Raisin Cheese & Ham+ Egg Bakery Buns

:)

I will make tomorrow a better day, I promise.

"The sky isn't always blue. The sun doesn't always shine. So it's okay to fall apart sometimes, but always remember to get up again" <3

Recovery.

Recovery is Possible.
It's worth it, it'll be.