Christmas Eve :)

Merry christmas eve! Tomorrow is christmas, can't wait. Currently, I am so bloated now. Okay it sucks I know. I totally hate the feeling but I know I just have to stop thinking about it:( Anyway stayed home today! I miss my home so much after being in the hospital so yeap. Baked Cranberry Muffins! Gonna give them to some closer friends tomorrow:) Just for 10 people. Only have 10 boxes so yeah. Hahaha. So today is the first day whereby I have all my meals at home. No time limit, no protocol. It was uhm.. Not too bad I guess. I actually stick to the meal plan for all meals except for my snack. Was supposed to strike a balance between safe foods and exciting foods as told by June. And I did so! Muffins were a challenge for me yet I finished them. And the safer food was lunch:) Not too bad huh. Still working on my "Journey to Recovery" board! Ok I think I suck at art but kind of have a little interest after going for art therapy during the program. Hehehe. Well, I'm so glad my meals for today and even tomorrow has been planned by June. That's really good cause I'm not too sure about the portion sizes so yeap. At least she assured me:) That's a reason to continue seeing a dietitian hahaha. Tomorrow might be more of a challenge as having dim sum for breakfast and I think I'll be pretty full from the food alone and might leave out the drink that I'm supposed to have as well.. And lunch, not sure if the church is catering buffet or smth. Dinner will be with family! To celebrate Christmas. Thought of going Marche initially but we'll see how it goes tomorrow. It'll be a super crowded day tomorrow! OHGOD. Hahahaha and presents tomorrow! That's the most exciting part!!! It is, isn't it? I'll owe people presents cause I have no time to get them:( Ugh. Blame the hospital for loving me too much LOL. And having trouble with sleep again! Always happens when I'm at home. Eek it sucks. Can't fall asleep yet wake up so early to have breakfast. :( WHAT IS THIS?! So ended up having a bad headache during the day. Anyway I did something. I typed out all my challenging breakfast, lunch and dinner and snacks! And guess what? I found out that even after having eaten some of the challenging foods during recovery and tho having a better relationship with food, it's still really challenging for me. I had no problem coming up with the challenging ones yet have big problems coming up with the not so challenging ones. I intend to have a callenging meal a day, as what june said. Have a balance:) That's the key. I really have to get new bottoms soon. Zomg I can't fit into them:( even my sister's jeans are somehow not loose on me anymore, so I can really imagine how much weight I put on over the past 2 months and how much fats. Daamn, so depressing:( Oh but something good, I can finally fit nicely into the tops I bought in Perth:) I still feel as tho I looked fat tho. But ohwell. What's left for me to do now is to continue with normal eating behaviour, not binge and restrict and exercise to tone up. Have to watch my activity level too anyway since other than exercising on my own, I'll be seeing Deng Peng my Physiotherapist:) She's so nice. So ywah they don't want me to over exert my body alreaedy especially during this period of time when my body is still so vulnerable as its just started recovering not long ago. And it actually takes about 6-8months for recovering anorexics to be able to listen well to the stomach signals and eat when really hungry and to know when to stop when feel comfortably full. Still a long long long way there. Anyway that's all for now! Christmas in 5 hours!