Self discipline hoola

Went out with parents today to view the Logos hope ship. It was really pretty inside, a huge book fair. Hahaha. Got myself two books, one is some inspirational book by a 25years old student and the other is "conquering eating disorders". Oh and happened to meet hanxin and her mom and her sis and boyfriend there! Such a coincidence. :) Before that, had lunch at HarbourFront shopping centre. Been a long time since I last ate there! There's a variety of food, some are kind of rare as most food courts do not sell them. Such as pumpkin noodles, philipine cuisine and bbq stingray indonesian ones. Had ban mian though as didn't really felt like having anything. Or rather, Ed was strong and dominating. And yes, without the pork. After that then we walked to Vivo and board the ship! After that, went to shop around Vivo. Ok its a really boring place. Been there too many times I suppose, so there's nothing really interesting and all to look at. And I actually told my parents what happened yesterday that led to the mood crash and yeah. But won't be posting about it here, might be triggering. Ok today Ed was somehow strong. Sadly, ik. Thankfully Mom was slightly more firm with me today about my snacks. Apparently, I did not want to have snacks. But she insisted. So we went down to the first floor and walked around to see what I could get for myself. But yet, I walked around the whole place and ended up getting nothing. Parents then decided to go to Mac's to eat something and I did not place any orders. I know that was Ed. And yes! Mom forced me to go get something and all, she looked really pissed when I kept refusing. Hahaha. But as the first time I went, I ended up getting nothing as Ed was way too strong to let me buy something, much less eat it. So I went back. Ok they were more pissed. I really didn't know what to do so I said I'd go get Hello Panda and a bev for snack. But I did not. I went to Cheers, took the package, saw the calories and placed it back onto the shelf. So ED. Even so, I know I still got to have my snack. I feel so guilty for always screwing up my body every single time after discharge. And finally, I did have my snack. Managed to get a salted bean biscuit and mr bean ice cream:) The ice cream was really good. So was the biscuit. :) Ignored the after effects. Hahaha. Headed off to airport after that, to get a pair of sports shoe for myself. I'm gonna spend time exercising now! Really hate the feeling of just eating and doing nothing. Have to do something. To at least tone up. :) Will be going to the gym with Han xin tomorrow, and lunch. Having a light lunch tho. Won't really want to have a heavy lunch after a work out! Will be too tired to eat much. Hahaha. Am going to have my snack as well, really want to start the meal plan given by the dietitian tomorrow. Hope I can follow accordingly to it and not have anything more or less. I mean I can have more but I'm just scared that I might feel guilty and restrict for the next meal kind of thing. Oh and had durians! Having sore throat but still had durians. Hahaha it was really good. Gonna go have more now!