cherish

Woke up to a very shocking piece of news, that the first friend i ever made in the ward has passed away yesterday evening. It was really a shock, extremely and up till now i still cant accept the fact that she's gone. sigh. She has decided to end her life on her own yesterday and I really don't know why. Such a sweet looking girl, maybe thought that life brings nothing to her, no joy but depression, ed and isolation just decided to leave everyone without saying a goodbye, that's the toughest part to accept. I do not know how exactly she died but it was a sudden death so yeah. really, sigh. So much regret within me, i know that i could have done more when i was with her, in the ward. And to keep in contact with her when i left the ward. And not to have left her alone in both circumstances to struggle and fight alone. My deepest regret. I'm so sorry, XT. I don't know where you are now, but i hope that you are in a better place cause you don;t deserve all the mess and screwed up sadness life has bought you. Please, no matter where u are, take care of yourself and may angels be with you. From her death, I learnt quite a lot. That you'll never know where life is going to bring you, for the good or for the bad. I mean, so isn't it better to try and strive for what you want, to help who u want, to care, to love, to be to accompany people around you when you have the time instead of outcasting them. Work for what u want, do what you want when you have the time. Don't keep dragging on and on thinking that you have tons of time cause in reality, no one knows how much time is left for you. Don't let depression cause you to isolate yourself. Don't let ED take charge of your life. A fellow fighter has left, do you want anymore to leave? Ofcourse NOT. So, start doing something about your life, about the Ed and depression, don't let them take your life away. It's definitely not worth it. Lastly, learn to cherish. Cherish, Cherish, CHERISH. Not just people around you, but your OWN LIFE. Start loving yourself, make your life better. Don't say "f, i hate my life, I rather die" cause if you really died, there's bound to be a ton of regret inside of you. Please, treasure your own life, you're on planet earth for a reason. <3 Love to everyone Xx