wide awake.

Its like 3am or so yrt i am awake. from my sleep. the feeling of wanting to vomit overwhelmed so i got woken up by it. not a good experience i'd say.. so i thought would help and it did help just that teeny winny little bit! hahah i had a coffee bakery bun and biscuits. biscuits again. yes zomg. oh anyway i realised that the fridge has no fruits! :( sad face. and its like suddenly i felt like its so hard to let go of my own diet anf hand the responsibility to my mum. its like all of a sudden i am not controlling MY diet. its NOT in my hands. ohwell i guess it might be better that way though i feel insecure. so ok i think i can do it :) hehehe. and anyway its pretty much like a good way to like stop me from thinking about food all the time and what to eat etc... everything will be placed for me muhahaha. I should actually be grateful right? honestly. anyway i read through the part on eating disorders and stuffs from the book "Praying through Life's problems". will be reading it in detail now since cant get back to sleep tet.. so i will type out that whole chunk so you guys can read them too if you're at the stage i'm going through now. hope it helps anyone who needs it:)