Friday& Saturday!

Stayed home yesterday to do baking with Mom. We baked pineapple tarts! Recipe from aunt. It was really interesting actually. Like the other day when I did baking at aunt's house, it was really fun and I tried those pineapple tarts too. They tasted really good. So Mom and I baked on out own! And we actually baked quite a lot. Hahaha. Like 6 trays I think? So yeah. But I didn't handle the butter part as the butter was added to the flour etc to form a dough. Honestly, I was extremely freaked out when I saw the amount of butter required. Mom then mix them and formed it into a dough, while I waited for her. It smelled really buttery as well and it was actually rather hard for me to want to continue doing the pineapple tarts as I hated the butter smell. It felt as though touching it or breathing it would be equivalent to me consuming it. Sounds ridiculous? I know, but its so hard to not believe it. But after I started doing the first one, things went well. Did so much till my hands were aching! Hahahas. Sieve the flour and sugar mixture as well! And after everything was well prepared we started out. Rolled the dough evenly and use the shape cutter to cut out the shape of the dough, and the ball of pineapple paste was placed onto it. It was not too bad after you get the hang of it. It gets easier each time I did! But the toughest part was kneading the dough to even heights. That was really tough as the dough can't be too thick or too thin. Mom did help out on that part as well as I had problems with that initially! But yeap, after a while I managed to do it too. However, after everything was done, I did not try the pineapple tarts as Ed was so strong. Tbh, ed has been really strong nowadays and I don't know what to do. To me, it seems like going ahead with what it says is the best way. I really don't feel like fighting with it anymore. It gets really tired, and the feeling of guilt, it really sucks to experience it daily. So yeah. Will see how after I speak to Tina and the dietitian on Tuesday. And currently, because I restricted, I don't dare to increase my intake anymore. I kept thinking that I'm already eating too much when I shouldn't even be eating. And I guess I really need to be on a diet. I hate being above mhw and its really hard to accept myself now with all the changes. And I'm really super ultra sensitive now, to what others say and their expressions. Well, I guess you can say I'm paranoid too. Anyway, tho I did not out the pineapple tarts, but I did have fun baking! So yeap, am gonna bake again next saturday. Oh and today morning, did baking again with Mom! This time round, we baked brownies. As it was pre-mixed, it made things all so much easier. Hehehe. As usual, I did not taste it. I refused it. But accordingly to Mom and dad, they said that the brownies were too sweet! Especially dad, he said it was wayyy tooo sweeeet. But still edible bleah. Was a little sticky too! Are brownies meant to be sticky at the centre part? I don't really know. Hahahas. Was actually intending to go to gran's place today but was pretty tired and had headache so decided to stay at home. Prepared myself a bowl of frozen fruits as well! Love them. No idea why but I always crave for them and it makes me feel better after eating them. Of course not if I ate too much of it!









The before and after! How does it look? HAHAHA.